Breastfeeding Realities: What I Wish I Knew Beforehand

Breastfeeding—it’s one of the most natural things in the world, yet somehow, it can feel anything but. Before having my baby, I imagined peaceful moments of bonding, my newborn nestled in my arms, effortlessly nursing while I soaked in the magic of motherhood. But reality? It was messy, exhausting, emotional, and far from what I expected. I still remember that first night in the hospital, staring down at my baby, thinking it would just ‘happen.’ But instead, I felt confusion, discomfort, and an overwhelming pressure to get it right.

I wish someone had told me the full picture—the beautiful, the challenging, and everything in between. So, to all the new moms out there feeling overwhelmed, here’s what I wish I had known before starting my breastfeeding journey.


It’s Not Always Instinctual

We often hear that breastfeeding is natural, and while that’s true, it doesn’t mean it comes naturally. Babies are born with a sucking reflex, but that doesn’t mean they’ll latch perfectly on day one. I struggled with positioning, a shallow latch, and the nagging fear that my baby wasn’t getting enough milk.

And then there was the pain. No one warned me about the initial discomfort, the cracked nipples, or the toe-curling pain when my baby latched incorrectly. I thought something was wrong with me, but in reality, many moms experience this in the early days. With the right support—lactation consultants, nipple balms, and a whole lot of patience—it does get better.

Breastfeeding is a learned skill—for both you and your baby. It takes patience, practice, and sometimes a lot of trial and error. I wish someone had told me that it’s okay if it doesn’t feel magical right away. You’re not failing, mama. You’re learning.


Cluster Feeding is Real (And It’s a Rollercoaster)

Imagine sitting down to nurse, and before you know it, hours have passed, and you’re still stuck in the same spot. Welcome to cluster feeding! There were days when I felt like all I did was feed my baby. It was exhausting, frustrating, and at times, I questioned if I was doing something wrong.

What I didn’t realize was that cluster feeding is completely normal—especially during growth spurts. It’s your baby’s way of increasing your milk supply. If I could go back, I’d tell myself to settle in with a big water bottle, snacks, and a good show to binge-watch. Because while those marathon nursing sessions were tough, they were also moments of closeness that I now cherish.


Your Supply is Probably Fine

I spent so much time worrying about my milk supply. Was my baby getting enough? Should I be pumping more? Why didn’t I look like those moms who could pump ounces in minutes?

The truth? Supply concerns are common, but often, they’re more about perception than reality. Babies nurse for comfort, not just nutrition, which can make it seem like they’re always hungry. Wet diapers and weight gain are much better indicators of milk intake than a pumping session. In the early days, you may not produce many ounces, and that’s completely normal—it depends on your baby’s age and needs. Don’t compare yourself to the moms you see on social media, filling up mason jars in one pumping session. I wish I had trusted my body more instead of stressing over every ounce.


Fed is Best—Always

In the thick of my breastfeeding journey, I put so much pressure on myself to exclusively nurse. I felt like I had to push through exhaustion, pain, and mental stress just to meet an expectation I had set for myself. I sobbed the first time I gave my baby a bottle, convinced I was failing. But in that moment, I saw my baby finally content, and I realized that feeding with love was all that mattered. Looking back, I wish I had been kinder to myself.

Whether you exclusively breastfeed, combo-feed, or switch to formula, what truly matters is that your baby is fed and loved. Breastfeeding is amazing, but so is a healthy and happy mom. If you’re struggling, know that your worth as a mother is not defined by how you feed your baby.


You’re Not Alone

There were nights when I sat in the dark, nursing my baby, feeling like the only person awake in the world. But the truth is, so many moms have been exactly where I was—exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering if they’re doing it right.

Breastfeeding is a journey, and like all journeys, it has highs and lows. But if there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this: You’re not alone, and you’re doing an amazing job.


What I Wish I Could Tell Every New Mom

Mama, breastfeeding is a journey—one that’s uniquely yours. It’s okay if it’s messy, if it’s hard, and if it looks nothing like you imagined. Give yourself grace, and remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to feeding your baby. Whether you’re nursing, pumping, supplementing, or formula-feeding, you’re doing an incredible job.

If you’re struggling, reach out for support. There’s a village out there ready to help you. And if you need someone to tell you that you’re enough—here it is: you are enough. Always. One day, you’ll look back on these long nights and realize—this was love in its purest form.

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